Today is a rant about the one thing that any 25+ year old would have heard atleast once! You are getting old! The big 30 will be soon here! When will you get MARRIED?
Then you see your Instagram flooded with posts from your graduate college batchmates who are rushing into matrimony because they are already 29! My friends are heard saying I’m already 28, my parents want me married by the time I am 29! And what if you turn 30 and are not married yet! Oh no! What will happen then? You’ll die alone! Just marry any Tom, Dick and Harry in your arranged matrimony, but before you turn thirtyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
Hey it’s not so old school anymore! You actually get to date the person before you decide on getting married even in an arranged setting. Actually, not much has changed even there. I speak from the stories of my close friends and cousins.
Scene 1: Guy’s dad came home to see my friend and finds her suitable. Families exchanged congratulatory squeals! Wedding is fixed! The funny part is the 2 hadn’t even met when the marriage was fixed.
Scene 2: The marriage is fixed and the couple exchange numbers on the day of the engagement.
Scene 3: Wedding is fixed right in the first meeting, happens in a month.
All of these are to rush each of them into marriage before they approach the monster year! The big 30!
The scenes are scarier than they make a fuss of turning 30!
It feels like there is a time line to everything that is set by the society. Should be married by 30! Kids by 33! And then by 45 dealing with teenagers. When you are 50, just start forcing your children to follow the same cycle, warna log kya kahenge?
Of course, you need to spend on that big ass wedding with guests who don’t give a shit about you but are there only to eat, you will be paying for their accommodation and entertainment. Don’t your ageing parents need a place that they can spend their retirement money on and take loans? It’s about time you start taking loans too, the wedding ceremony where you marry a stranger who is also decorated and presented for the guests to look at and pass judgements, will be the perfect beginning that you would need to venture into the dark region of the bank loans. This is obviously presented glamorously in the television advertisements for jewellery with a few emotional scenes between the father and daughter, aww so perfect! So all this needs to be done before you hit the big 3O!
‘You know you would love this nice guy who is the only son, well settled he is! My god so handsome! Arrey, just meet him and then decide no? You won’t say no! You’re growing old, you don’t have much time in hand.’
‘See you look so nice! This is your second younger cousin who is getting married. You already are an elephant which has grown its teeth! You will be 30 in a couple of more years. What do you mean you are not settled yet? You have a job no? Come come you are wearing a saree also, perfect photo I’ll take, there was this family who was asking.’
‘Yeah yeah, you only get excited about your friend’s wedding? Come here, let’s have a talk. Don’t take examples from the family for all the marriages, there are happily married couples also. For example… Hmm no one I can think of for now, but there are plenty. Believe me. It’s the right age, before the monster 30 approaches!’ :O
‘You know, that uncle called me today. He told me about his daughter, 3 years your junior she is soon going to get married. He was asking what is your plan? I told him, she’s uselessly travelling the country like a nomad. Everyone can’t be blessed with obedient daughters like him, na?’
Having a regular dose of these on a daily basis, you would become an expert at gauging when the topic shift is about to happen and when the aunties, parents and entertainment seekers are mobbing up against you. You then quickly get up pick up your phone, pretend it is a very important phone call and walk away. If all of it happens too quick, pass a hurtful sarcastic remark about the sad marriages of the ones targeting you. Gain complete knowledge and gossip about failed engagements, marriages and dysfunctional relationships which have recently occurred in your friend circle or in the family and present them as your arguments. Quote celebrity lives who were older, have never been married and are happy as hell. Quote examples of happy late marriages, especially the ones around 40s. Gets you more time. Tell them about your dreams and ambitions (they wouldn’t care, but worth a try).
Yeah, so that is my rant of the whole rush of weddings before they turn 30! I think if you are really ready, love your partner and are absolutely sure of what you are getting into, only then do it. This could be when you are 20, when you are 30, when you are 50 or 60! Whenever, but when you are ready and sure.
I wish people would move away from just looking at one wedding day, and spending their money and effort on it but instead focus on the other things which make relationships and marriages worth it and not just an obligation.
My younger cousin is getting married next month, yeah it is a shotgun wedding. The guy and the girl haven’t met yet, but they are getting married. I am thinking if I should really risk it all, my mood, happiness and sanity to be a part of her happiness/wedding, or should I just skip all the drama as usual to get angry phone calls from relatives?
I’ll decide on this later, but maybe all of us should give the big 30 a rest and make it not so significant 30. It is not a milestone. Life is not a race. We all have different milestones. Let us try and accept that?
Adios!
All my love,
Dhanya
Chrysalis 