Author: Dhanya Purushothaman

Imagine. Look around. Cook stories. Pen down a few. That's me.

Kuch Bheege Alfaaz!

I turned to Netflix to seek some escape from the thoughts running wild in my head and upsetting my otherwise happy life. I did not expect much, only thought this would be just another cheesy romantic watch which I would forget right after I finish watching it, but I was in for a surprise!

It has been a long time since a movie has touched me so much, Kuch Bheege Alfaaz is so beautifully made and the dialogues are just heart warming. This movie was a perfect blend of three things I absolutely enjoy, and had me hooked from the first scene.

Firstly, I have always been a sucker for Hindi poetry, sher and shayari in specific. I do not know any of them by heart but when someone recites these, I’ve already placed them on a pedestral.

Secondly, Radio shows have defined my college life and school life. I’ve always dreamt of becoming an RJ someday. When the RJs in the morning would crack a joke I’d laugh out loud to have fellow passengers look at me like I am some lunatic. The advices and fun in the morning Radio shows and the late night RJs with deep voices telling you soul stirring stories, would just be the only thing that the romantic in me would need to smile. I can tell you that Radio stations play the best songs on the weekends, and when that favourite song of yours is requested and played on the radio, you can just imagine yourself as the main characters in a movie and dance around.  I celebrated like it was my own radio show when one famous comic today, had excitedly spoken for the first time on his own show as a newcomer, and I felt his nervousness and thrill right through the radio like it were my own emotions on my very first radio show.

Thirdly, personal deep conversations. The ones that you have with an absolute stranger you just met, but about the deepest sometimes scary, sometimes the happiest memories of their life. The special feeling, when someone lets you know of their deepest fears, greatest desires and the dreams, in short baring all their emotions in front of you and leaving themselves so vulnerable. Some nights that I treasure in my life, are the conversations I have had with my friends, family and strangers looking right into the darkness over a cuppa tea or sometimes on a journey.  The stories are beautiful and sometimes so painful that you know this is probably the most intimate conversation you could have with that person ever. They are just so beautiful.

Kuch Bheege Alfaaz, had everything that was needed to stir my soul and make me fall in love with the creation. Poetry, Radio, Conversations, Stories, Vulnerability, Rawness and Imperfection. When Mr. Ittefaaq AKA RJ Alfaaz, just broke down while opening up I wanted to walk through my screen hold him tight and never let him go. Archie’s struggle and yet the charm is so beautifully captured. Another thing I loved about this movie is the setting, especially the huge spacious house of RJ Alfaaz with so much space and barely anything that would make it a home. His house was shouting of his emotional space and his story in general. Archie’s home in contrast was brighter but older, the switches spoke of the age of the house. It was delightful to watch how each relationship between the characters unfurl starting from the first scene, be it friendship, mother daughter bond, bonds at work, romantic bonds and just the bond between the chai wala and the customer.

If you are someone who enjoys similar things as I do, if you are also incapable of watching shows with bloodshed and violence and are in search of a story that would be a good watch, then go fall in love with Alfaaz and Archie.

I might have loved the movie because of my association with three major things, but kuch bheege Alfaaz, really did pierce right into my tiny little heart. Isi baath pe pharmaya hai,

Humne bhi kabhi gauwr farmaya tha,

Woh raat mei mauhaul hi aisa jamaaya tha,

Aap jaise kisi shaqs ne hi sunaya tha,

Aur aaj phir yaad aa gaye woh bheege se Alfaaz!

 

Thank you, Onir sahab! You left me sobbing and smiling.

Advertisements

NOTORIOUS, BIG 3O!

Today is a rant about the one thing that any 25+ year old would have heard atleast once! You are getting old! The big 30 will be soon here! When will you get MARRIED?

Then you see your Instagram flooded with posts from your graduate college batchmates  who are rushing into matrimony because they are already 29! My friends are heard saying I’m already 28, my parents want me married by the time I am 29! And what if you turn 30 and are not married yet! Oh no! What will happen then? You’ll die alone! Just marry any Tom, Dick and Harry in your arranged matrimony, but before you turn thirtyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

Hey it’s not so old school anymore! You actually get to date the person before you decide on getting married even in an arranged setting. Actually, not much has changed even there. I speak from the stories of my close friends and cousins.

Scene 1: Guy’s dad came home to see my friend and finds her suitable. Families exchanged congratulatory squeals! Wedding is fixed! The funny part is the 2 hadn’t even met when the marriage was fixed.

Scene 2: The marriage is fixed and the couple exchange numbers on the day of the engagement.

Scene 3: Wedding is fixed right in the first meeting, happens in a month.

All of these are to rush each of them into marriage before they approach the monster year! The big 30!

The scenes are scarier than they make a fuss of turning 30!

It feels like there is a time line to everything that is set by the society. Should be married by 30! Kids by 33! And then by 45 dealing with teenagers. When you are 50, just start forcing your children to follow the same cycle, warna log kya kahenge?

Of course, you need to spend on that big ass wedding with guests who don’t give a shit about you but are there only to eat, you will be paying for their accommodation and entertainment. Don’t your ageing parents need a place that they can spend their retirement money on and take loans? It’s about time you start taking loans too, the wedding ceremony where you marry a stranger who is also decorated and presented for the guests to look at and pass judgements, will be the perfect beginning that you would need to venture into the dark region of the bank loans. This is obviously presented glamorously in the television advertisements for jewellery with a few emotional scenes between the father and daughter, aww so perfect! So all this needs to be done before you hit the big 3O!

‘You know you would love this nice guy who is the only son, well settled he is! My god so handsome! Arrey, just meet him and then decide no? You won’t say no! You’re growing old, you don’t have much time in hand.’

‘See you look so nice! This is your second younger cousin who is getting married. You already are an elephant which has grown its teeth! You will be 30 in a couple of more years. What do you mean you are not settled yet? You have a job no? Come come you are wearing a saree also, perfect photo I’ll take, there was this family who was asking.’

‘Yeah yeah, you only get excited about your friend’s wedding? Come here, let’s have a talk. Don’t take examples from the family for all the marriages, there are happily married couples also. For example… Hmm no one I can think of for now, but there are plenty. Believe me. It’s the right age, before the monster 30 approaches!’ :O

‘You know, that uncle called me today. He told me about his daughter, 3 years your junior she is soon going to get married. He was asking what is your plan? I told him, she’s uselessly travelling the country like a nomad. Everyone can’t be blessed with obedient daughters like him, na?’

 

Having a regular dose of these on a daily basis, you would become an expert at gauging when the topic shift is about to happen and when the aunties, parents and entertainment seekers are mobbing up against you. You then quickly get up pick up your phone, pretend it is a very important phone call and walk away. If all of it happens too quick, pass a hurtful sarcastic remark about the sad marriages of the ones targeting you. Gain complete knowledge and gossip about failed engagements, marriages and dysfunctional relationships which have recently occurred in your friend circle or in the family and present them as your arguments. Quote celebrity lives who were older, have never been married and are happy as hell. Quote examples of happy late marriages, especially the ones around 40s. Gets you more time. Tell them about your dreams and ambitions (they wouldn’t care, but worth a try).

Yeah, so that is my rant of the whole rush of weddings before they turn 30! I think if you are really ready, love your partner and are absolutely sure of what you are getting into, only then do it. This could be when you are 20, when you are 30, when you are 50 or 60! Whenever, but when you are ready and sure.

I wish people would move away from just looking at one wedding day, and spending their money and effort on it but instead focus on the other things which make relationships and marriages worth it and not just an obligation.

 

My younger cousin is getting married next month, yeah it is a shotgun wedding. The guy and the girl haven’t met yet, but they are getting married. I am thinking if I should really risk it all,  my mood, happiness and sanity to be a part of her happiness/wedding, or should I just skip all the drama as usual to get angry phone calls from relatives?

 

I’ll decide on this later, but maybe all of us should give the big 30 a rest and make it not so significant 30. It is not a milestone. Life is not a race. We all have different milestones. Let us try and accept that?

Adios!

All my love,

Dhanya

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Break and Back.

WhatsApp Image 2018-06-18 at 17.53.41-2

So, you know the story so far. Quit job, took a break and now I am almost getting back to work in a week. I really like the job profile but I do have a few concerns regarding the other aspects. I hope I get to learn and also be the best at the job. It is something that I am looking at with a long term perspective. I am hoping that the compromises I am making would be worth it at the end of the day.

The time during my break has been brilliant. I absolutely enjoyed the time I got, be it travel or socialising. But, there was just not enough ‘me’ time. I enjoy spending time alone, a lot. I love taking myself out to the movies and eating out. This time I did not get to do much of that. I am not complaining though, because be it spending time with family or travelling with friends, I was grateful to have such loving human beings in my life. I agree there were days when I was absolutely done with people and also done advising them on how to solve their life problems when I hadn’t ever experienced any of those in my life. But I was always glad to have them in my life. It is funny how my life had a few significant events in the months that I was absolutely jobless. I didn’t get anywhere around chasing my creative pursuits but I did learn to cherish some people who were cheering and supporting me in their own little ways, which overwhelmed me in many ways than one.

I am now looking forward to crazy challenges and fun that is in store for me at the new place, and even more to the inspiring leaders, mentors and individuals I would meet in this new adventure. I think I chose this place because they spoke words that were very different from the other organizations that I interviewed at, where they would say ‘the everyday work could get boring and monotonous’ , but here I heard them say ‘there is never a dull day, every day we can be certain to learn something new’. I really wish this would be one of the choices that I would look back and be glad that I made this choice instead of choosing the more attractive option.

How do I end this one? Cheers to the future!

P.S – I forgot to mention, I made wine at home for the very first time during the break. And, I must say it is a strong one! 🙂

 

Don’t Care.

Today was a busy day, just when I thought I finished my task for the day I get emails telling me I haven’t. Follow up emails. Worst aren’t they? Quite a funny situation!

In between me struggling to finish and not really ask for an extension, I get talking to a friend. It’s just amazing how caring a little bit would make people’s day. This friend was letting me know how much it meant to them that we turned up the other day. I dreaded the next question but I knew it was coming and that it affected them that much, why didn’t the others turn up? I had no answer, why did they pretend to care when they really did not? Why didn’t they even drop a message? I had no answer. I didn’t know really. People are weird. People’s priorities change with distance, time and phase they are in.

I had no explanation to offer. This friend had the most important day of their life and this hit them hard. I could feel that they had already done their share of over-thinking of the situation. Was it so hard to drop a message? Yes, it is not hard. It is just a message after all. The hard reality that I figured that day is that, people sometimes pretend to care. You believe them. Then one day, they stop pretending and you realise they did not care at all.

Don’t take it personally is the stupidest thing you could say to someone. Most adults are just kids with bodies of a grown up individuals. They will take it personally even it is just a professional decision. In reality kids are more forgiving and caring than most adults.

The key overall is, believe in people but believe in yourself more so that you can brush off the scratches and wipe your tears when you get hurt because you expected more from others. Or just that you expected them to be there, every time.

Just another day, like everyday. Teaching and learning!