Month: May 2016

She: ‘I love paneer butter masala, I learnt to make that dish.’

Me: ‘ That’s so cool.’

She: ‘Not so much. I just told him on the phone, he says he doesn’t like paneer.’

Me : ‘So?’

She: ‘It’s a waste that I learnt to cook it, his mom likes round rotis she said.’

Me: ‘So?’

She: ‘I’ll have to perfect my roti making skills.’

Me: ‘Oh!’

She: ‘ I don’t like it so much in Mumbai. But then now I’ll have to like it, the family is settled in Mumbai. Now after I’m wed I might visit home just once a year, maybe.’

Me: ‘Oh! What is his profession again?’

She:’ Software Engineer. Same as mine, just different companies.’

Me: ‘Does he cook?’

She: ‘He has never entered kitchen apparently. His mom says.’

Me:’Wow.’

 

 

Time has changed. Sure.

Not a Life-Partner, an educated and well-earning house help.

 

 

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Let’s talk.

Hello there,

How are you doing? Today I want to talk to you about something that we all are getting annoyed and incessantly arguing and pointing fingers at each other for. We are all citizens of India and we love our country no matter what we say. So why do we fail to understand each other and hold prejudices against each other? I’m sure a North Indian would have a lot that they would want us, South Indians to understand. Likewise, that a person from North-East will have lots to tell all of us too, similarly people from Western India too will have a lot that the rest of us should know about. So to begin the conversation here are a few answers to a lot of your doubts about our life in South India. So, if you stop asking us such things we can be much better friends than we already are 🙂 ❤ Some FAQs to avoid, for friendship to last long.

Isn’t Tamil like the language in South India?

Answer: Yes ,Tamil is one of the many languages spoken in South India. But you know South India has many states. There is Karnataka, Kerala, Tamil-Nadu,  Telangana and Andra Pradesh;  different states in South India. There are a lot of languages in South India to name a few; Konkani, Tulu, Urdu, Telugu, Malayalam,Tamil, Kannada etc. Yes, see it’s not just Tamil?Don’t all your languages sound the same?

 Don’t all your languages sound the same?

Answer: Yes, they sound the same. Just like Punjabi and Bhojpuri sound the same and Gujarati and Odia/ Oriya sound the same. Please, do not say that again.

 

 You don’t look like a South-Indian!

Answer: LOL! You think that racist statement is a compliment? No. Just No.

 

 Yeah, I don’t like South-Indian girls/guys because you know dark complexion.

Answer:  They might not like you either because you know, that mentality. Narrow, so narrow. Yes, it’s not just you. A lot of aunties/relatives in our place also say things like this but there is a difference. You are educated, you are our friends. They are not. Plus, if you care so much about ‘white colour’ you are called brown anyway! 😛

Also, explain to me how skin colour/tone changes anything?

 

How can you possibly not know Hindi? It’s like our national language!

Answer: Duh! It’s the language widely spoken in North India, it is a beautiful language agreed. But so are the rest of the languages. Do you know Tamil? Telugu? Bengali?Marathi? Malayalam? Tulu? or Konkani maybe?

Yes, you don’t. People usually converse in the language that is widely spoken in their home state. Knowing or not knowing a language doesn’t make anyone superior or inferior. See, people in Bangalore say Kannad gothilla‘  after staying ten years in the city, obviously it will annoy the localites. They might even let it be, but  you tell them to learn hindi for you, how is it fair? (Plus you don’t even say Kannada!)

If I stay in any of the North Indian states for ten years and refuse to learn Hindi will you not be annoyed? It’s the same thing. We are open to learning languages. It is wonderful to be able to communicate in the language that localites are comfortable in, similarly we hope you too take efforts to learn our languages as and when you settle down in our cities/states.

Maybe, we do not know Hindi because ( FYI: It is not our national language)  we know another language instead. Also, some of us know Hindi much better than most of you’ll maybe you will be surprised.

If you stop forcing Hindi down our throats, we will stop forcing English down yours 🙂

 

 Isn’t the culture in all the South Indian states the same?

Answer: Will you be happy if I said yes? But unfortunately no. Each state in India is very different from each other. Like UP and Maharastra do not have the same culture.Arunachal Pradesh and West Bengal do not have the same culture and customs, therefore, all South Indian states are widely different from each other in terms of culture, lifestyle, traditions, political ideology etc.

So, No.

South Indians are reserved, introvert type na?

Answer: Maybe, some of us as individuals are reserved. But some of us are not. You cannot generalise the type because you hail from North, West, East or South. Introvert or Extrovert is a personality specific/individual specific trait not region specific trait.

 

Isn’t Mumbai better than Bangalore? Delhi is way better than Chennai, isn’t it? There is no life in Hyderabad, right? How can you survive without nightlife?

Answer: Well, you love your city we understand. We love the city we stay in too. But, never ever ever compare two cities. Especially when one of them is our hometown, we do love you but you know sometimes if stupidity surpasses a level then even love won’t be enough.

 

(This one is not in the context, but  but someone told these things to me and I lost all respect for them from that day. So learn to differentiate things you should actually be proud of from the ones you should be ashamed of. Since, these were from guys from North Indian roots, I’ve just included. But, I know amazing men from North, some being very close friends who would never disrespect anyone, ever. Yes, there are very amazing gentlemen from North, who are extremely caring and who always lookout for you. But there are also some men like these who say; )

My dad used to beat us and mom with belt, when we made noise.  ( Talking about dad’s greatness) / I speak this way even to my parents (in a disgusting language)/ You know that we demanded as part of the dowry

Answer: It’s amazing how  you can see an act of violence as an achivement. Why did you have to waste so much on education, if you had no intentions of broadening your mental horizons?

 

South Indian girls are like cows. Proper wife material.

Answer: I don’t even know what to say. You know you might think it is a compliment, but really the person you are talking to will lose all respect, if they had any if you make statements like this. Girls, South Indian or North Indian are much more than you think. You think because some girls do not answer you or fight back when you crack lame jokes or talk on stupid topics, they are wife material? Let me tell you, they do not show much enthusiasm in your blabering because they do not want to waste their energy in talking to you. You, will never understand them or their ambitions anyway so why waste time in pointless arguments.  Most girls or women are mostly not interested in being the proper wife that you tag them under. Stop it already. Never say this to any girl, not a South Indian girl especially.

 

Okay, that’s all for now. I’ll add the rest as and when I come across similar annoying questions. I’m sure you too will have a lot to let us know about yourself and our questions that annoy you, bring it on. Let’s talk it out.

Love,

Dhanya

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roots. Home. Dreams

Roots, home, and dreams. Three words, very warm, very distant from eatch other. This is true for a large group of people, like me. We are all growing up in a place, far away from our roots, that we call our home. Slowly, we grow wings and fly. Fly to chase our dreams, dreams which are far away from our homes, far far away from our roots.We, are indeed a puzzle which can be completed when all three of them; the roots, the home and the dreams fit perfectly together, otherwise there is commotion and unrest.

A question that often haunts me ( like it haunts you) is when I am asked ‘which is your favourite among the three? ‘. How do I answer that?

I have contemplated on this subject many a times, unable to find definite answers to the many questions that surround me. Where do I actually belong? Which among the three do I love more? Is is betrayal if I have a preference for one place over the other? Whom will I support if there is a crisis? What will I do if someone calls me an outsider in the place I grew up? Will I punch their face so hard that it will no longer be recognisable to others? 😛

The thing is that being a part of three different states/cities at the same time, I have grown to love all three of them.There are mood swings and my preference for one of these over the other also changes. I beam with pride when I hear about the accomplishments from any of the three places. I recognise the flaws of all three, even as I love them unconditionally. Somehow, I cannot tolerate when someone else critiques them even as I endlessly find faults in the three. Inspite of loving all three of them equally, I’m always at loss of words when someone asks me where are I am from. They wouldn’t understand that, I am from the place I have my roots in, because that place has always showered unconditional love to me even though I go there only occasionally. I am also from the place I call my home, because my family, my friends, my life has been a gift to me from this place. I also belong to the city where my dreams reside because it took me in with open arms when I was nothing and made me feel I belong.  I need all three of them to feel complete. I do not know what to answer when I am asked,  ‘ Which place do you prefer among the three?’

They do not understand, that you cannot draw comparisons between the air, the water and the fire.  

Nothing, can be like the other.

And nothing, will remain without them.