Month: May 2016

She: ‘I love paneer butter masala, I learnt to make that dish.’

Me: ‘ That’s so cool.’

She: ‘Not so much. I just told him on the phone, he says he doesn’t like paneer.’

Me : ‘So?’

She: ‘It’s a waste that I learnt to cook it, his mom likes round rotis she said.’

Me: ‘So?’

She: ‘I’ll have to perfect my roti making skills.’

Me: ‘Oh!’

She: ‘ I don’t like it so much in Mumbai. But then now I’ll have to like it, the family is settled in Mumbai. Now after I’m wed I might visit home just once a year, maybe.’

Me: ‘Oh! What is his profession again?’

She:’ Software Engineer. Same as mine, just different companies.’

Me: ‘Does he cook?’

She: ‘He has never entered kitchen apparently. His mom says.’

Me:’Wow.’

 

 

Time has changed. Sure.

Not a Life-Partner, an educated and well-earning house help.

 

 

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Time and People.

Let’s talk.

Hello there,

How are you doing? Today I want to talk to you about something that we all are getting annoyed and incessantly arguing and pointing fingers at each other for. We are all citizens of India and we love our country no matter what we say. So why do we fail to understand each other and hold prejudices against each other? I’m sure a North Indian would have a lot that they would want us, South Indians to understand. Likewise, that a person from North-East will have lots to tell all of us too, similarly people from Western India too will have a lot that the rest of us should know about. So to begin the conversation here are a few answers to a lot of your doubts about our life in South India. So, if you stop asking us such things we can be much better friends than we already are 🙂 ❤ Some FAQs to avoid, for friendship to last long.

Isn’t Tamil like the language in South India?

Answer: Yes ,Tamil is one of the many languages spoken in South India. But you know South India has many states. There is Karnataka, Kerala, Tamil-Nadu,  Telangana and Andra Pradesh;  different states in South India. There are a lot of languages in South India to name a few; Konkani, Tulu, Urdu, Telugu, Malayalam,Tamil, Kannada etc. Yes, see it’s not just Tamil?Don’t all your languages sound the same?

 Don’t all your languages sound the same?

Answer: Yes, they sound the same. Just like Punjabi and Bhojpuri sound the same and Gujarati and Odia/ Oriya sound the same. Please, do not say that again.

 

 You don’t look like a South-Indian!

Answer: LOL! You think that racist statement is a compliment? No. Just No.

 

 Yeah, I don’t like South-Indian girls/guys because you know dark complexion.

Answer:  They might not like you either because you know, that mentality. Narrow, so narrow. Yes, it’s not just you. A lot of aunties/relatives in our place also say things like this but there is a difference. You are educated, you are our friends. They are not. Plus, if you care so much about ‘white colour’ you are called brown anyway! 😛

Also, explain to me how skin colour/tone changes anything?

 

How can you possibly not know Hindi? It’s like our national language!

Answer: Duh! It’s the language widely spoken in North India, it is a beautiful language agreed. But so are the rest of the languages. Do you know Tamil? Telugu? Bengali?Marathi? Malayalam? Tulu? or Konkani maybe?

Yes, you don’t. People usually converse in the language that is widely spoken in their home state. Knowing or not knowing a language doesn’t make anyone superior or inferior. See, people in Bangalore say Kannad gothilla‘  after staying ten years in the city, obviously it will annoy the localites. They might even let it be, but  you tell them to learn hindi for you, how is it fair? (Plus you don’t even say Kannada!)

If I stay in any of the North Indian states for ten years and refuse to learn Hindi will you not be annoyed? It’s the same thing. We are open to learning languages. It is wonderful to be able to communicate in the language that localites are comfortable in, similarly we hope you too take efforts to learn our languages as and when you settle down in our cities/states.

Maybe, we do not know Hindi because ( FYI: It is not our national language)  we know another language instead. Also, some of us know Hindi much better than most of you’ll maybe you will be surprised.

If you stop forcing Hindi down our throats, we will stop forcing English down yours 🙂

 

 Isn’t the culture in all the South Indian states the same?

Answer: Will you be happy if I said yes? But unfortunately no. Each state in India is very different from each other. Like UP and Maharastra do not have the same culture.Arunachal Pradesh and West Bengal do not have the same culture and customs, therefore, all South Indian states are widely different from each other in terms of culture, lifestyle, traditions, political ideology etc.

So, No.

South Indians are reserved, introvert type na?

Answer: Maybe, some of us as individuals are reserved. But some of us are not. You cannot generalise the type because you hail from North, West, East or South. Introvert or Extrovert is a personality specific/individual specific trait not region specific trait.

 

Isn’t Mumbai better than Bangalore? Delhi is way better than Chennai, isn’t it? There is no life in Hyderabad, right? How can you survive without nightlife?

Answer: Well, you love your city we understand. We love the city we stay in too. But, never ever ever compare two cities. Especially when one of them is our hometown, we do love you but you know sometimes if stupidity surpasses a level then even love won’t be enough.

 

(This one is not in the context, but  but someone told these things to me and I lost all respect for them from that day. So learn to differentiate things you should actually be proud of from the ones you should be ashamed of. Since, these were from guys from North Indian roots, I’ve just included. But, I know amazing men from North, some being very close friends who would never disrespect anyone, ever. Yes, there are very amazing gentlemen from North, who are extremely caring and who always lookout for you. But there are also some men like these who say; )

My dad used to beat us and mom with belt, when we made noise.  ( Talking about dad’s greatness) / I speak this way even to my parents (in a disgusting language)/ You know that we demanded as part of the dowry

Answer: It’s amazing how  you can see an act of violence as an achivement. Why did you have to waste so much on education, if you had no intentions of broadening your mental horizons?

 

South Indian girls are like cows. Proper wife material.

Answer: I don’t even know what to say. You know you might think it is a compliment, but really the person you are talking to will lose all respect, if they had any if you make statements like this. Girls, South Indian or North Indian are much more than you think. You think because some girls do not answer you or fight back when you crack lame jokes or talk on stupid topics, they are wife material? Let me tell you, they do not show much enthusiasm in your blabering because they do not want to waste their energy in talking to you. You, will never understand them or their ambitions anyway so why waste time in pointless arguments.  Most girls or women are mostly not interested in being the proper wife that you tag them under. Stop it already. Never say this to any girl, not a South Indian girl especially.

 

Okay, that’s all for now. I’ll add the rest as and when I come across similar annoying questions. I’m sure you too will have a lot to let us know about yourself and our questions that annoy you, bring it on. Let’s talk it out.

Love,

Dhanya

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mumbai.

 

Mumbai. I stepped into this city without keeping high hopes, I was ready to accept whatever it threw at me. It has been three weeks till now and I must say that the dream city has not disappointed me. If you are ready to adjust a little bit and blend into its ways this city will give you much more than you expect from it. I am absolutely in love with the city and its people.

The below collage is a collection of photographs from the little adventures in this fast-paced city.  From the little time I have spent in two different cities, I can tell that how much you like a city is also dependent on the lives that touch you and the experiences you’ve had with strangers. Call me superstitious, but I was skeptical of writing about the city scared that I might jinx my luck. But, it would be unfair if I do not make note of the time I am actually very happy when I have cribbed and ranted during my unhappy times.

Mumbai was magical, but my first day in the city was not so magical. The first day I was ready three hours before time and decided to take the local from Churchgate to Goregaon in the morning to reach my office on time, given that it was the first day of internship. I also had my dad with me with his luggage, he was going to check into a hotel in Goregaon which would be closer to the flat I have taken on rent and also my workplace. We got into the local and it was not so crowded, and we occupied a seat near the window. I thought it’s not so bad as my friends had spoken about peak hour rush in the local. Little did I know I couldn’t be more mistaken. Slowly the compartment started getting more and more crowded. By the time local stopped at Bandra and Andheri stations the local was jam-packed, no space to move no space to breathe. By then my dad and I were both sure there is no way we could get off at Goregaon Station, we better get down at the last stop Borivilli. Somehow after Goregaon  station we slowly moved with the luggage to the door. Even now the train is jam-packed. Train stopped at Borivilli station and I somehow got off, some unknown gentleman helped me in finding  my lost shoe and helping me get out of the stampede situation. But then what do I realise? The crowd at the  Borivilli station did not let my dad to get down and he was still stuck inside the train. I was not even able to get to see him from the window because of the rush and his phone was also not reachable. I stood there for about 15 minuted hoping he will somehow manage to get down, even when I knew that is highly unlikely. I had a huge suitcase in my hand a backpack and I had 45 minutes to reach office on the first day of work. I then decide that there was no use waiting there and I pick up that suitcase and backpack and go out to find an auto while trying to contact my dad on the phone. I call for an auto, just to be told that there was no probability that I get to Goregaon in 45 minutes, it will take me at least two hours to get there because of the huge road-block . I decided that was better than waiting there that I atleast get moving. I informed my colleages about the situation and dropped off my luggage at broker’s place and reached my office sweating and my clothes and hair all ruffled. I rushed to the near-by rest room to make myself look presentable. Yes, I reached my office two hours late on the first day of the work. Thankfully, half the office had not yet reached because of the railway and road-block I was stuck in.

Yes, I was reunited with my dad in the evening when he came to visit me and explained that his luggage was stuck to the door and was not able to get down. He had finally got off at Andheri and had taken a cab from there to get to the Hotel. My dad went home after two days and it puts him to ease that I’ve settled down here. It was a scary experience for me and somehow became a story to tell after that initial tension and helplessness died down.

I was determined to not judge my dream city because of one incident. That proved to be the best decision ever. I found such amazing mentor in office, the colleagues are slowly becoming more of family. The work and work culture is wonderful. I have fallen in love with Marine Drive and Band-Stand. I can go crazy over love the pav-bhaji’s at Sardar and the Biriyani at Cafe Noorani. I get a high cooking my own food and feeling all independent.  Chilling with old friends one night and hanging out at BSK connecting with new people has been Amazing. Reconnecting with a cousin and visiting Haji Ali and Mahalakshmi during sunset is another experience that I would never trade. Meeting Amish,  the man who made Shiva believable and made me wonder about the scientific knowledge that existed in the olden Indian civilizations which is now long lost, was such a fulfilling experience. I have found more people I can connect to, at work my colleagues and at home my roommate whom I chat till late in the night. It is wonderful how things fall into place eventually.

Metro train travel at midnight, traveling alone in the locals around the same time, friends checking on you if you reached safe, the transgender who blesses you every day at the signal on your way to work, exploring new places with friends and colleagues, conversations with strangers and smiling to yourself reflecting on something funny that happened during the day, would you not fall in love with the city when you get a dose of these at regular basis? Well I do not know about you, but I have.

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PS: Goa trip is due this week, next post with details. Off to Bandstand for now 🙂