retrospection

Breaks that bring life with it.

I am in a very happy phase of my life right now. My life  presently is almost perfect though there are a few thorns on the way, they don’t seem like a huge mountain from my present view.

I am on my semester vacation for two weeks, which was a break that I was waiting for from a very long time. I wished to revive my summer vacation memories from my childhood by visiting our ancestral home where my grandparents had lived. I remember the days we went around and played hide and seek and the whole gang of cousins who rushed down there for vacations sat by the pond munching mangoes.Granddad used to tell us interesting stories and tales from the famous epics, from Mahabharata, Ramayana and stories of little Jesus and stories of Krishna’s. We would fight to get a spot next to Granpa just to hear his stories more clearly. Granpa and Granma would make us homemade chips and out of which Granpa was the head cook for all the delicacies that were cooked for us and were our favourites. The way he treated us, the way he treated my mom and the way he behaved at home would be the standard that every man entering our lives  and wishes to stay would have to match.

But this was the story from my childhood days but the situation now is very different. The house now lies uninhabited along with the neighbouring houses that were rustling with happy noises in the past are now replaced with a silence that echoes of memories from the past. Every door, every corner that I revisited talk about the people that once lived there, of the family that grew up there, of the children who were married off from the same house, of the little kids who were cheerfully welcomed by the grandparents, of stories how they grew older together and so did their grandparents. The households in its heart stories of a young man who was essentially  self-made, honest and loving. The man whom the entire village respected and came looking for advice.The house had seen a man who was an adored teacher and headmaster to every child who grew up in the locality, he was also a man who loved his land a farmer. The house was also home to a woman who was again above most common women of her times, a woman who was a teacher that too of a language that is not native to the land she stayed in, she was the one who supported the man of the house who looked after his mother who lost her memories like her own along with being a working woman, a mother and a farmer herself.

But comparing the present situation with past will mostly lead us to disappointments.My cousins and I have now grown up.Our timetables don’t match each other’s anymore. We no longer get  summer vacations. Everyone is getting a hang of responsibilities and each one of us trying our hardest to get used to being ‘an adult’. It is painful to see closed doors. But life has to go on and it is imperative that we change. It is important to grow up.

With time changing I have realized that I am no longer a child whose opinion is gullible. I have developed strong opinions on different subjects. Though I feel I should know my roots but I no longer am able to love people I once loved so dearly. I find them to be so disgusting at times that there is no point trying to convince them to open their closed brains to the bigger better world,  to get to know people from all walks of lives without prejudices and lame biases.

I used to see people previously either in white or black light, but I have over the years learnt no one is completely black or white, everyone is grey sometimes maybe with either of the two colours taking prominence over the other.  I now see People in different shades of grey.

There is also another thing I’ve come to realise some relationships in life are much more than blood relations. I have come to realise that after my family, it is not any relative that I would be willing to do anything for, it would be my neighbours and my friends.

I always wondered if it was possible to stop loving someone, I now know it is possible.  This break so far has taught me a lot of things that no textbook would ever. The life experiences I saw, people I met and the situations that changed the whole meaning of living for me was my biggest takeaway from my semester break.

Breaks and holidays help us grow into better human beings because it often takes us far from our mundane selves who are self-obsessed and selfish, Breaks help us reconnect with ourselves and others and makes us rethink our priorities.