Passion

Growing up.Moving on.

Growing up sucks! Yeah Monica was right when she said Rachel ‘Welcome to real world, it sucks! You’re going to love it!’  I fully understand what she meant today.

I’m right now in a state where I can’t exactly explain what I feel. I’m in betweens situations where there is extreme happiness of making it to where I felt I belonged ,  and that fix when you ask why did this happen only to you. Then I see the silver lining in the situations.After a long time I’m actually going to pursue something that my heart told me to pursue and not what the brain forced me to. I’m taking a leap of faith and I’m sure no matter where I get after this I won’t regret it. I might make money or I might not, but that’s not why I want to do it. I want to go to SIMC because i want to be a part of something I love, I want to work in a field where I’ll enjoy whatever I do.

Engg has not been a jolly ride for me. Every day I sat in any class, one thing that was a constant was the thought ‘why the hell am I here? I hate this thing!’  I made great friends, I’ve had amazing experiences, learnt a lot of things in life, had my many first experiences in engg, I learnt to fail, I learnt to pull myself up and walk looking everyone right in the eye, I learnt not to involve in things/events/people that you are sure are a waste of time, I learnt not to judge people but to understand them, I learnt a lot about life here. But one thing I hated throughout engg was the course it self, there was absolutely no passion. I think if you are yet to join engg and are doing it just for the sake of it, then stop. Do not waste 4years of your life. Do not do something just for the sake of doing it, do it because that’s what your heart wants. Of course you’ll get a job at the end of 4 years. You’ll get your degree certificate, but then what’s the use when you are not happy? What is the use when you have no passion for the subject? What is the use when you do not belong there? What is the use of living the rest of your life feeling the same way? So do yourself a favor and take the subject you actually are passionate about. Maybe it’ll pay you less, so what? Choti gadi,chota ghar but you’ll be happy 🙂

That’s exactly what I’m going to do now. Do what my heart tells me. I might suck at it initially, but I’ll get better. I’ll definitely get much better and that getting better is success for me.

Yes, I’m scared. I’m shit scared, new place, new people, new subject. I’m so tempted to stay back, now that people I love are having a hard time, I feel like stating back for them. But then again, their strength, honesty and faith makes me feel proud of being associated with them. I’ve understood well that life is not about the romantic and glittery picture that is shown in movies or books, it is how much you can smile when opening eyes to face another day is the worst nightmare. Love is about how in times when your loved ones can not stop worrying, that conviction with which you say everything will be alright, I’m there for you always.

I’m so glad for everything I have right now. I’m thankful for this moment and mainly for the people in my life. My family and friends. When it gets hard for me to hide emotions swirling in my head, that’s when smile comes handy. The most precious jewel that anyone can ever possess ; smile!

I know this whole article is haphazard but then so is life. Moments and memories add are thrown at us and are so haphazardly but look at the end picture, that’s beautiful with everything haphazard that fits with each other so perfectly.

One week and project viva, my birthday, then I leave my nest the next day to find where is it that I actually belong. I’m looking forward to my life in SIMC and to enjoying everything that I do.

Wish me luck and also hope that  all those troubles melt away soon. 🙂

Anyway you take care and be thankful for your blessings. 🙂

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Travel.

I love travelling. Not from today, from the time I was very little.Major travelling which took place in my life was the time when my sister and I went to my grandparent’s house in Kerala during our summer breaks. I used to look forward to the travelling the most.My dad seldom booked tickets before hand, in short we had unplanned journeys,which we loved of-course!

‘ Pack your bag I’m taking you guys to your granny’s’ , my dad would come in unannounced and order us.

‘Yay! we’re going by bus!’ we would squeal.

Here by bus, we did not mean the super cool volvos, here bus means the govt transport buses.We used to travel 700 kms by splitting our journey into five parts: Bangalore to Hosur, Hosur to Salem, Salem to Coimbatore, Coimbatore to Palakkad, Palakkad to Kottayam. Now the best part of this break journey was the food at every station we got down in: the filter coffees,the saravana bhavan masala dosas and idli vadas with the yummiest sambar and chutney,then the chicken kebab and fries from palakkad and payam pori’s of thrissur , just imagining these food makes my mouth water even now.

Another one thing that stuck to my little mind was the liveliness of the bus-stands when the rest of the world would be sound asleep.The bus-stands and the out-skirts of these bus-stands rustle with the sound of shops and travelers at all hours of the day and night. People selling flowers, snacks, toys, books,men gambling away to glory in one corner,ladies with bright red/pink lipsticks and fragrant jasmine pinned into their hair standing in a group and laughing at some incoherent jokes that someone cracked are the scenes so clear in my memory.This was my encounter from my initial trips during summer vacations with my dad.

As I grew older I became more fond of studying the co-passengers in the bus we traveled along with my love for food at different places. Every bus journey had some women who would push me and my sister into a single seat much to our annoyance! So what if we were small, the conductor didn’t let us sit there for free, we had to take half ticket! How dare that aunty with a huge bum pushed us and sat in our places while we meekly complained to our mother. The worst part about this thing is that it would often happen when we would have finally got some sleep. Apart from this annoying aunty I remember another brave lady, who sat next to my mother.

This lady held her one month old infant in her hand and was breast-feeding it, while she had goods for business that she had brought from Cochin to her home in a village somewhere between  Coimbatore and Salem.She got down in a deserted place at one thirty in the night!That too when her husband was away at some other place for business, and she had to walk back to her home about a mile away from that bus-stop all alone holding her infant in one hand and the luggage in the other. All this she does with a bright infectious smile on her face.

 

There are more such little but important incidents I remember from my usual trips of summer vacation but the journey that is closest to my heart is the one that I went on last October. I was thrilled beyond words when this email popped in my inbox, for you it might not be a big deal but for me it meant the whole world.

 

Dear INKster,

Congratulations! You have won a free pass to INK Live 2013.
We have good news for you. Due to the overwhelming and excellent responses for ‘All That Matters’, INK Live has selected more winners, and your entry is one of them.
Looking forward to see you there!
 
– INK Team
This was the best news I had heard in a while. I was sure that I would have a tough time convincing my parents to send me to INK by paying 3K, so winning a free pass to INK LIVE 2013 definitely went a long way in convincing my parents to let me attend it. This competition ‘All That Matters’ required us to fill in 4 words after ‘ ALL THAT MATTERS IS —— —— —– ——‘
and I wrote ‘ALL THAT MATTERS IS THE WAY I SEE MYSELF’  These four words had somehow managed to get me  a chance to travel alone for the first time. INK was happening in Ernakulam, a city that I have been to innumerable times but never alone, and when you are alone even in a city you’ve been before it makes you see the city in a new light. I traveled alone to get to my destination in a train filled with strangers and it is one of the best journeys of my life, I went to a place where I had no friends and no one I knew of. When I returned I returned with the confidence to write, the workshop by Lavanya Shankar  was so empowering, for once in a long time I felt I belonged in a crowd, I felt at home amidst strangers. I found so many like minded people who shared my passion for writing and travel.Within a short period I became friends with three awesome people Danny, Sundar and Surbhi.All three of them wonderful writers and excellent human beings. Spending just three days with them made me feel I knew them for a long time.Even now the fact that we are in touch makes me believe in the power of accidental encounters in accidental journeys. Even though I was a little nervous before I went to INK, I knew I had only gained a lot more than I ever expected. The new technologies, the common people who had the guts to do the common things which the rest of us are ashamed to do, the unconventional ideas,the different life stories from different people from all walk of life, the inspiring talks, workshops and the drum jam session made INK top the list of perfect trips in my life.
Well, before INK was my beautiful journey with my family to Munnar, which was perfect too. I went on a trip with my friends recently,during last semester break but even as the trip was completely crazzy and fun-filled , I missed the solitude and space I got to retrospect during the train and bus journeys I went on before.
I feel I am missing a very important part of my life by forgetting to travel, so I seized the oppurtunity when it came my way recently. You can learn so much from a journey than you can ever learn by spending a year amidst text-books.Well at-least for me this holds true 😛 😀 😛 🙂 😉  So grab a book, ear-phones, your mobile phone,some cash , pack your bags and set out to the place you always wished to get to.(Before that make sure your boss approves your leave application 😉 😛 )  IMG_20140731_093620403 (1) )
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