Rape.This word is used so commonly these days, but more frequent is its occurrence. I know that as I write this article many women/kids/girls/boys are being subjected to sexual harassment at this very moment in our so called cultured country, India.Even at this very moment thousands of rapists roam freely in this country, no death sentence, no life imprisonment! There is absolutely nothing to scare them.Law with its many loopholes is just a toy to play with for these heinous criminals.They still look at us as objects of sexual satisfaction. Not only us, they even look at our tiny-tots and grandparents as sexual objects. If you are a women you would be well aware of the disgusting feeling you get when a stranger throws a cheap glance at you or when a harasser whistles when you pass by. These small incidents can torment you for days on end.Then imagine the torture you go through if someone dares to touch your body. If you are man, are you aware of the above said feeling? Yes, then let me continue. No? Let me tell you the feeling I am talking about is similar to the one you get if you imagine you fall into septic tank and are covered in human waste from head to toe. Get the idea? Now imagine if the same occurs to a child.Imagine a small kid of say about three years old being ogled and molested.The child is unaware of what exactly is happening to him/her. The child is innocent and rapists misuse this innocence and black-mail the child.Even if he or she is being sexually abused or raped, the child won’t be aware of it until someone informs him/her about it.The trauma of that incident haunts the child once he/she grows up and realizes what had occurred to him/her under the blanket of innocent childhood… I believe, some of you reading this article can relate to the above said situation.I wonder ,how? So this makes it clear that one among the three people who are reading this article has faced some form of sexual harassment during childhood, not to even mention the abuses you face now. This abuse must stop.For stopping or counter-attacking these abusers we must first know the reason why such abuses could happen so easily in the comfort of our own homes.These are a few possible reasons why you were sexually harassed:-
- You did not know what was happening to you.You were alone and vulnerable.
2.You saw glimpses of intimate scenes on tv ,during the hurried channel change by your parents, without any explanation. Now you didn’t know what to make of those scenes as a child. You did not know if it was good or bad. So when the abuser replicated those scenes on you, you didn’t know how to react. 3.You were harassed by a person you had confidence in. Your abuser was a person whom your parents trusted. eg:-teacher, relative, neighborhood aunty/uncle, family friends, servant, worker. In short you did not even realize that you were wronged. Even if you realized that you were being harassed, there was no way you could tell your parents about it. Even if you did the chances that they would believe you were negative. 4.You had no clue whom to share it with, your harasser posed as if ‘it’ was all a part of a game that you two were playing. 5. Your parents did not talk to you about safety and private parts till you reached puberty. They always thought child sexual harassment can exist only in newspapers not in real life.It could never happen to their child, so why scare the child unnecessarily? 6.You know the above said reasons but you are still embarrassed to discuss this issue of ‘rape’ with your children(here I mean a little older ones) and hence will retort to milder sentences like ‘Don’t go out to play’,’Don’t wear such clothes’,’Be careful while you are on road’ etc. Now that we know ‘why’ children in general, are easy and silent victims to sexual assault, maybe we should think on how we can save our little ones today so that they do not suffer tomorrow. Here are some suggestions which every parent should follow religiously in today’s world to avoid wild jackals pouncing on your young deer.
- Talk to your child about their private parts. Yes,even to a three year old! Tell the them that only u(Parents) are allowed close to them or to touch them while bathing them.Tell them how to deal with a situation if a grownup attacks them or misbehaves with them phisically.Tell them to scream and shout at their loudest voice and alert everyone.
Give your child the confidence to share any information with you, about anybody. When I say any, I mean any. Let it even be about your own parents or even your siblings your child should have full freedom and confidence to talk to you without being shouted at or being labelled disrespectful. Most importantly make time for them everyday.Office work is your last priority, first is your child. If you don’t make time for your child’s stories one day it will be a burden than can never be reduced by the money you earn now. 2.DO NOT send your child alone with any random person you know.NO! NOT EVEN YOUR RELATIVES.Limit the circle you can safely leave your child behind to a VERY small one.Only highly trusted members should be left behind for baby-sitting your child. GIVE CLEAR instructions to your child not to go with any uncle or aunty without informing you about the same. 3.DO NOT IGNORE if there is any behavioral change in your child. 4.NO MATTER what happens ASSURE your little one that you are there for him/her at all times. IF byANYTHING HAPPENS tell them it is your fault not theirs. If any incident of abuse comes to your notice,no matter how close that offender is to you, it is your responsibility to get him/her the punishment that he/she deserves. 5.BELIEVE in whatever your child tells you.Explain things to your child in a neutral manner so that he/she easily understands what you are telling them and also in such a manner that it doesn’t scare them. 6.Make a small group with the parents of other children in your colony/residential area and talk about how to effectively tell your children about the issue, how to tackle the issue, how to ensure safety of children without limiting their freedom. Keep the necessary helpline numbers ready at all times. Keep meetings at regular intervals, do not skip these meetings as this issue is as important as that of water problem or electricity problem. Report to police immediately in case of any crime. 7.If even slight incident of child abuse has come to your notice do not shy away from informing police or handing over the culprit because of vain thoughts like ‘Log Kya Kahenge’ or ‘Why to get into such un-necessary issues’ etc. 8.Conduct workshops for older children on sex education.You cannot shy away from it,their life is of much more importance compared to your embarrassment. 9.If you find any suspicious individuals around do not wait for a crime to occur to take action. 10.Check the background of the school before admissions and make sure it has an active parents association, because most crimes in school is revealed only when the parents of the students talk to each other. Not just school, do background check for play-schools, servants,drivers etc before finalizing them them for your child. It is time we do more than being just angry at the situation. It is time we train ourselves and our little ones to react before the attack, rather than after the attack.Next time when the sexual assaulter looks at a child as an object of his satisfaction let him be shocked to find a brave warrior in place of an innocent sheep.It is time that next time I write an article I have fighters and revolutionaries reading it rather than victims. Let us do our bit to stop rape, when the whole country and legal system is trying to do theirs. WE NEED TO DO OUR BIT FIRST ONLY THEN CAN WE SEE A CHANGE IN THE COUNTRY. WE HAVE ENOUGH VICTIMS IN THIS COUNTRY , WHAT WE NEED NOW ARE FIGHTERS.