childhood memories


We care about wrong things, wrong people and wrong emotions that leave our life messed up and complicated. We do not express when we have to, we do not speak when our voices need to be heard, and we shy away from facing the light when that’s what we always yearned for.

We often find ourselves envying little kids. Mostly because they speak their mind when we cannot. They laugh at silly things and find happiness in smallest deeds that we chose to ignore. Ever wondered why we are often amazed at the innocence that they display?

The little children do not need big degrees or fancy houses to feel happy and content. They do not think of status before talking to a shabbily dressed kid across the street. They do not forge friendships because of greed. They do not make false promises nor do they shy away from being straightforward. They do not shy away from expressing love , dislike or desire. They often lose count of number of friends they have mainly because they are friends with everyone in their class. They are least tolerant to injustice, they cry and scream if they feel they are being wrongly treated. They talk about everything under the sun and even about the child next door whom they would marry when they grew up. They have no false pretenses.They share hugs and kisses without much thought.They dance and sing without requiring an occasion to do so. They do all this by being just themselves, children.

We on the other hand are not happy even with our fancy houses and degrees. We do not talk to a shabbily dressed person sitting next to us, well that is status. We often are blinded by greed when we forge friendships, and we get depressed when such friendships lose meaning after some time.  We do not realize that booze, money and party is not all that, what friends are for. We cannot afford to be straightforward and tell our friends when they go wrong, for the fear of losing them. We cannot even tell someone we like them again for the fear of losing them. We choose to love people with a set of conditions and changes applied to ourselves. We avoid confrontations, why? Because hey life will be much simpler with them and we are adults we cannot have simple lives. We do not laugh when we feel like, because we are well-mannered. We do not cry when we feel like, of-course we cannot show we’re fragile. We choose to be depressed but we would never share our feelings with others. We cannot see the beauty and the bliss that surrounds us, mainly because we are busy searching for things that are going wrong. We do not appreciate what we have until we lose it. We live under the umbrella of being responsible and forget we are not carrying the burden of the world on our shoulders. We cannot question without being judged. We do not ask for a hug when we need one. We do not stop even when we witness injustice, because we are trained to be scared. We choose to walk away.

Why are we doing this to ourselves? Why are we complicating our simple life? Why do we not have time for anybody anymore? Why are we cribbing and ranting all the time? Why do we chose money over happiness , Work over family,and stress over peace?  We need to stop this crazy maddening race, and look at the mess we have created for ourselves. We need to clean up the mess before it starts piling up.This mess can be cleared away by doing just one thing right looking at our life through the eyes of a child.

Let us un-complicate our lives and be little children again. Let us ask for a hug when we want one. Let us not lie when we need to speak the truth. Let us express not to impress, but because we need to express. Let us not hide behind our blankets when we witness injustice,let us scream let us shout. Let us let others know when we like them, more so when we love them. Let us really realize that we do not lose anyone by letting them know what they mean to us.Let us not be afraid to cry when we are hurt. Let us not bother ourselves with nasty comments passed by strangers. Let us say thank you when someone helps us, even if they are paid to do that. Let us accept our mistakes and say sorry without letting our egos get ahead of us. Let us treat everyone with the  respect that we expect from them.Let us start expressing that we care. Let us learn to be polite. Let us learn to understand and not judge. Let us learn to smile, for no reason at all. Let us learn to stop. Just stop whenever we feel like. Let us make time for more in life, not just for people in our phones but for real people in our lives. Let us experience happiness. Let us sing and dance whenever we feel like, without letting any tomorrow bother our today.

Let us un-complicate our lives. Let us live the rest of our lives like a child.

The Day I lost my way :P

Some cute incidents from our childhood cast an ever-lasting impression on our lives. I too have many such unforgettable moments, and people. Now I have lost contact with most of them from my childhood, due to our house relocation. But I still cherish those childish innocence and those wonderful people from my past.

Me and Rahul were best of friends during childhood. My parents were  both working so I usually went to Rahul’s house after school. His dad, Ramesh uncle, was the most entertaining person a 4 year old could ever come across. I loved him for being so awesome. He would praise me for any small accomplishment I made, example ; completing my food , finishing my home work , running across the hall real quick, laughing the loudest etc.He used to give me candies as presents for doing something good. Ramesh uncle would pick us up from school, and listen to all our silly stories of school, and he would always say “I see…”, “I see”… Sometimes I felt that Ramesh uncle’s  real name was “I see” uncle.

One day Rahul had brought a nice toy gun to school. Me being his best friend emphasized on my right to have the first look at it. But he snatched it away and showed it to Adith,another kid in our class. (The wrong usage of grammar in the below conversations is intentional.)

I felt offended and told him “I want gun right now! right now!”.

He said   “No… you are girl… Girls No play with gun! Girls play with dolls!”

This infuriated me further! I screamed “Girls play with gun and dolls also! Give me gun now!”

He said “No… Adith boy, he play with gun first, then you play…”

I just couldn’t take it anymore and I said “Me… you No friends from today. You VERY VERY bad boy… Me ‘tooooo’ wid you… I no talk to you… Never… Never talk to you…” and I ran away crying.

After school Ramesh uncle came to pick us up. But I didn’t want to travel with that bad boy Rahul who ditched me for his friend Adith. So I said to the unsuspecting Ramesh uncle. “Amma come to pick up me . She come now. Uncle you go.”

Ramesh uncle asked  “Sure alle molu? Your Amma never told me about it! “

I cutely replied “yes uncle… Amma pakka coming… she say me.”

Uncle smiled and said   “I see …” and they rode away as me and Rahul were making monkey faces at each other..

I felt so proud of myself for my excellent acting skills. But soon all the kids left our school. I had no idea how to get back home. I didn’t think about it till it was only me left in our school campus. It was past 5.50 pm. It was getting dark. Some ‘Ayas’( School Maids) spotted me standing alone. They asked me where I lived. I said “Yelahanka”

Aya no1 “ Magu( means child in kannada) this whole place is called yelahanka, where in yelahanka?”

I said, “Near Rahul’s house”

Aya 2 : “So why didn’t you go with Rahul’s daddy? “

Me : “Rahul bad boy he no give me his gun”

Aya 1 : “Okay now come with us then, we’ll see what to do..”

Me : “okay”

I walked with Ayas. We reached Aya 1′s house … She gave me milk and a chocolate. I gratefully accepted saying, “Thank you Ayakka.”

Aya 2 decided that she would take me to her place that night. Because during those times, we did not have mobile phones to inform  the school or the principal.

We walked further down the road, the time was around 7.00 pm, it was pitch dark. I was worried that my mom would have home and that she would shout at me for being out so late. I suddenly spotted the play ground near my house. I shouted : “Ayakka.. that ground I play everyday… I play see-saw, jarabandi here.”

Aya 2 was so relieved listening to this: “What is the colour of your house?”

“Grey colour” I said confidently. (Thankfully my mom had taught me the colour of our house for the oral exam during the coming week.)

Ayakka spotted a small crowd near a house.When we got closer, it was my house. Rahul’s Parents, his Sister, and My land- lord aunty with big green bindi were all crowding around my mother and consoling her!

As I spotted my mother, I ran to her “Amma, Amma!”

That one expression of Joy and relief on my mother’s face cannot be explained.She had tears in her eyes, She ran towards me taking me into her arms. She hugged me tight and kissed my forehead. She  thanked Ayyakka and even invited her home for dinner.

Later Amma vented out her anger at me: “Why didn’t you come home with Ramesh uncle? When did I say I was going to come to school and pick you up?”

I was scared but mustered courage and said : “Rahul no give me gun…Rahul bad boy. I no friend with Rahul.I no come home with bad boy! “

The whole crowd was laughing except Rahul. He was also scared for me. He didn’t understand exactly what was happening but he knew I was missing. Rahul came with his gun towards me and said: “Today on-wards this is your gun. I good boy now. Now you ‘say’ with me no?”

I gleefully took Gun from his hand and shook hands with him and became friends again. All the elders there couldn’t help but smile at our innocent friendship.

Later I learnt that, When Ramesh uncle had reached home he realized that my mother wouldn’t pick me up without informing them earlier. Uncle  had asked Rahul if both of us had fought with each other in school that day and Rahul answered in positive and told him about the fight. So Rahul’s mom immediately called up my mother’s office and my mother came home early. As Ramesh uncle went to school he found out there was no one in the school. Now all were perplexed what to do. My mother was in tears and in an inconsolable state. My dad was working in another city and they were about to inform him about my missing case and call the police, that’s when I reached my home safe and sound.

Later that day my dad called up on our land owner’s land-line and spoke to me. He asked me not to repeat it again. He said that he wouldn’t get me a Barbie doll when he came back, otherwise. I promised him I wouldn’t repeat this ever, under the condition that he should bring a gun instead of Barbie doll. I wanted to give it to Rahul. He was so sweet to me that day so I should return the favour.

That night my mother slept in relief of being reunited with me and I slept with Joy of being able to come back home alone, without help of Ramesh uncle or Amma. I found my way back home, on my own! I even showed Ayakka my house. I felt like a big girl already. I smiled. I smiled some more as I closed my eyes, going back to sleep.