I am writing this because I know I might not be alone in this. I know there are fellow comrades who suffer and come out victorious every-time either braving it all alone or with the help of kinder ones near by.
There are these days, the days when I feel an irrational urge to destroy everything around, the days when even when everything is bright and sunny I can only see dark and gloomy, the days when I just cannot believe in people even when they have done nothing wrong, the days when I just want to shut the world down and just sit in a corner and cry. These are the days preceding the D-Day every single month.
All my questions are answered in 2 days following the day of drama, the day that proves I’m not actually that weak. Everything I felt two days prior is because of the stupid hormones doing rounds.
But I swear the days of the drama are the most mentally exhausting days, I question everything that exists. Every person around is annoying, all I want to do is scream and run away, but then the saner part of my brain makes me just smile and be nice as usual.
That cute pic on Facebook or that ‘video’ on a kind person who saved the day on Instagram makes me weep. Anything remotely ‘cute’ of people I do not meet regularly on social media has guaranteed ‘Awwww’ on these days.
The feeling of absolute annoyance with how hopeless my life is at the peak during these days. I would try and keep conversations and interaction with anything remotely human bare minimum for the fear of me going bazingaa on them and ending up ruining their day also.
Just, its just madness. I can feel the whole movie ‘inside out’ being played out inside of me, and trying really hard not to make a mess.
Well, these days are the hardest and I congratulate the fellow warriors who go through this every month and still smile to the world like there’s nothing wrong at all because that job pays your bills! 😛 Just hold on to that friend who’s hugs could help or even better get yourself that favourite tub of Ice-cream.
Yes, when the D- Day arrives every month the freaking physical pain is excruciating along with emo drama, and the pre-drama on the days before. But stay strong my dear sisters, because we’re made for more than just that.
gobbles that chocolate bar…Tadaa… Mmmm…